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personal training

WHY VS WHAT: Dating and Business

Imagine you've landed a date.

And lets say this person is named Gary....what?
Do you not think I can get a date??? I mean this hypothetical Gary can't land a date?! 

Yeah OK! I don't blame you but stay with me here!

Sales and dating have A LOT in common. One sits across the table from another person trying to close a deal. 

Gary opens his date with "I'm rich, I have a nice car, a big house, and make a lot of money because I can deadlift A LOT of weight and oh I'm really good looking."

Does Gary close this deal? Maybe once or twice, but moving forward if his goal is to cultivate a long term relationship, it's not going to end well with this approach.  

Does Gary score another date with this woman? Nope.

This idiot Gary is only yammering on about the WHAT, when he needs to be telling the person sitting across from him his WHYs. All those things, a big house, a lot of money and a nice car may have helped him secure this date but does very little else to convince this woman that you're not some self absorbed rich douche. And while the big deadlift may impress her (it doesn't...sigh) it only touches upon logical reasons, you've explained the features without the background or context behind those things.

Instead if I...uhh if Gary had said this: 

"I get to wake up every morning and do something I love. I get to inspire people and the best part is trying to figure out the different ways to do that. I've even been able to get a large house, that nice car and meet some famous people along the way. BTW did I mention I can deadlift 3x my bodyweight" (no, she's still not impressed by that last one? Damn).

He said all the same things from the first scenario only this time included at the beginning WHY he does what he does.

The why inspires whereas the what is purely logical. 

This applies to business as well. I don't stand in front of a perspective client touting all that I can do for them. If I do that, in my experience, it will always come down to these two things:

1) Price
2) Convenience

And those two things have very little to do with what I do well. But if you're able to strike a nerve with WHY should someone go with you, the what handles itself. In fact you don't even have to be the best, you just can't be mediocre because if your service or product still stinks, your sunk. If you and the client both understand why you should work together, then you're good to go. But not every perspective client fits your why and you their why for wanting to hire a coach.

And that's okay because you're not looking for just anyone.
And I suppose that applies to dating too!