I'm A Sheep in Wolf's Clothing

I recently received an e-mail in which I am asked the following:

How do you maintain a positive attitude when you have overly negative clients and can't afford to fire them? You appear to be nice to all your clients, some days I just can't.

Here was part of my response:

I'm actually an asshole, so it's not hard to understand where these people are coming from. I had to work REALLY HARD at improving who I am or better said who I was, a big selfish asshole.

Growing up I was never far from being the punch line to a joke or being pushed around. I had little understanding up until a few years ago how much that had affected me negatively. From my Mom, my extended family or classmates, there's always been a constant source of negativity in or around my life. I was encouraged to do well, so long as it was in an avenue that deemed appropriate like school or a degree towards medicine. 

I always had trouble making friends or initiating conversations with strangers. Even flashing a smile was a pain, preferring to look away from direct eye contact. It's something that didn't come naturally to me. I bottled up my emotions inside, and as a result I was an angry person. An angry person who thought the world had it out for me, and I was putting others down because it was the only way to make myself feel better.

Fast forward to the present day.

While I can "turn it on" and be really outgoing when I need to, it's not who I naturally am. I believe I'll always be a fairly quiet and reserved individual. What I will never be is an overly negative angry person again. Having been in those shoes, perhaps your client needs a friend and I say that in the least condescending way possible. People who are that negative and critical are usually unhappy.

I was an unhappy person. 

I tell you all this to give you context. To give you some background behind WHY someone might be the way they are. Anytime someone is rude, inconsiderate or just straight out mean; I take a second to think why are they acting like that and then respond accordingly. It's often hostility masking another emotion: for me it was a feeling of inadequecy and loneliness. Empathy is an under utilized emotion, practice it and you will be an even better coach.  

Now to the business side of this question, what to do when you really dread the scheduled hour but you need to keep the lights on in your apartment. Well my friend like any good fitness question the answer is it depends.

Can you scale back spending in other areas to make due?
If so, by how much will you be off your necessary monthly income?
If it's not a lot you can decide then if you wish to keep this client.

If not, what are you proactively doing to replace this client? 

We must not act emotionally instead you need to formulate a plan.
Are you marketing?
If so, for how long have you been at it? Has it generated any leads?

Have you tried asking any existing clients for a referral in exchange for a percentage off their next month/package? (By far the best approach)

There's a lot you can do besides simply "firing" the client. Once you can replace the income then you can decide whether or not to cut ties with said "negative" client. Though I would try to take the empathetic route first. I appear to be nice to all my clients because I thoroughly enjoy the time I get to spend with each and every one of them! No acting only geniuine care and love for their health and improvement as people. 

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Reflecting back on this response I would like to add this: I am a happy person now. I've learned to forgive those who may have wronged me in the past. I hold no grudges and try to always move forward. I have my health, a fantastic home life, a thriving business and my family; really what would I have to be unhappy about. If you put out love and happiness you'll get just that in return. 

Smile, it costs you nothing and can even turn someone's day around. I am forever grateful for who I was because it's made me the driven person I am today. This is the first holiday season I can say with clarity that I have everything I will ever need. Anything else I accomplish moving forward is simply the cherry on top.

Thanksgiving Dinner: A Balancing Act

Often when I discuss Thanksgiving and the ensuing madness of potatoes, pies and gravy; there's a large contingency of people who just chalk the day up as a loss.

Here are two strategies you can use to help combat the influx of calories and keep you on track.

Get a (Few)Workouts In

This one is pretty obvious. If you're going to go nuts at dinner, you can help offset some of that by going hard in the gym. Do you go before or after the meal.
(Some research points towards going after, but really we're splitting hairs at this point)

Most gyms close fairly early, usually around 1pm at the latest. You're going to be left with going before the big feast now. Considering you don't eat until the mid-late evening and you're kind of stuck in between. So much for a post workout feast!

A great damage control technique would be to increase your workout volume during the week leading up to the planned meal to deplete a little more glycogen. You would perform your usual 45min-1hr weight lifting and then throw in afterwards a 15-20 minute complex or interval session. 

Eat Before Hand

Now I know what you're thinking, "Don't eat anything, you'll spoil your appetite!" 

But there is some validity to consuming a small meal before the big feast. This has been shown to improve your body's tolerance to carbohydrates afterwards. 

It makes sense since you won't be as hungry if you've already eaten 2-3 hours prior to dinner. It's a sure fire way to force portion control without leaving it to chance or having "will power". 

The initial meal needs to be both low glycemic and have a decent amount of dietary fiber as well. A nice sandwich on whole grain bread with a small legume soup would do the trick. 

Whatever the case may be, also know that it's a day to enjoy and celebrate with your loved ones. So what if you don't do any of the tips I've outlined above, it's only one day. The most important thing is to have a plan and try to stick to it. And if you don't, know that there's always tomorrow.

And with tomorrow comes another opportunity to get it right.

Exercise Breakdown: Landmine Overhead Press

My starter movement for any sort of overhead pressing. While it may be a starting point, it is in no way indicative of it being only for beginners. For many individuals the ability to get overhead safely can be challenging.

The Landmine Overhead Press is a joint friendly way to train the shoulders as it combines a vertical and horizontal press into one. The exercise itself forces you to resist extension and will as a result train your core. It's often performed as shown in the video in an offset manner which with enough load can also provide an anti-rotary component too. 

If you're having issues with staying tight through your core, you can regress down to the half kneeling landmine press or stand in a split stance. The kneeling version adds in a great hip flexor stretch to the leg that's down on the floor. 

HOW TO:

1. Set barbell up into the landmine or into a corner. 

2. Pick up the bar so that it sets up right in front of your shoulder. Set your core in position with a good exhale. 

3. Press straight up, finishing with a little bit of a shrug (if you need a little bit more trap activation or protraction) and forward lean at the ankle as shown in the video.

4. Return to the starting position, watch that your elbow doesn't go past the midline of the body as your bring the barbell back down. I would also recommend packing the shoulder in this bottom position. 

ONE NIGHT ONLY: Pro Wrestling VS Social Media

Photo Courtesy: WWE.com

Growing up I was a huge WWF-WCW pro wrestling fan. And while most kids would have been a huge Hulk Hogan fan (I kind of always preferred Macho Man Randy Savage over him) my all-time favorite wrestler was Bret "Hitman" Hart. His moniker was the excellence of execution, which I suppose would be a little foreshadowing considering how big I am on proper execution of all exercises. Aside from having an opportunity to use a photo of my favorite wrestler today, allow me to use wrestling to convey a much larger point that pro wrestling and social media have a lot in common. 

SPOILER ALERT! Pro Wrestling is not real. Not real in the sense that the outcome of the matches are pre-determined. I do however fully understand the massive damage these men and women put their bodies through, nothing but respect. Occasionally I'll catch a match and am still in awe of their athleticism, but gone are the days of hoping the good guy will somehow prevail. Now I simply sit back and try to enjoy it simply as entertainment and that is intertwined with a suspension of belief. 

Pro Wrestling works BECAUSE those who are participating and watching understand that it's not real. It works because we understand it's a show, it's all OK because it's a production! Just like your Instagram or Facebook feed is your own self produced wrestling show you broadcast out to the world. 

The biggest dilemma is when you don't know that pro wrestling is fake. You think it's okay to objectify women, settle disputes with violence and cheat to win which in the real world rarely ends well. We all know individuals who live in their own wrestling bubble.

These individuals live in a made up universe of who they think they are, a life they think they lead and portray a dream they aren't actually living. They would rather continue to portray this "life", believing that the real world is simply an unwelcome disruptor. Whether it's the endless selfies, new cars or stacks of money everywhere, it's not real life. The real world isn't built on angles and good lighting, but you still believe it makes sense to build a business off of this. Even worse you believe it's okay to sell this "dream" to other people, it's a scam. 

Don't you know? Every good champion has their run before they're scheduled for a big loss. 

Yes I'm quite aware that Hogan beats Savage on this night

Exercise Breakdown: Paloff Press

1. Stand with your feet about shoulder width apart, chest out and your shoulders in a neutral position. Take a deep breath and extend your arms pausing for a 1-2 second count before returning to the start position. 

A few notes:

• Think about sitting the hips back a bit, a lot of individuals end up performing this with their weight shifted too far forward. 
• Speaking of keeping the hips in a good position, if you have trouble staying grounded, widen your stance out a bit. 
• I would watch for putting yourself into an over extended position during the push out phase. Using the exhale, you can dramatically increase the tension you place on your core. More tension = more effective feeling movement.